i learned this acronym in elementary classes

maybe 4th grade

we Love Jesus First

others next

yourself last

that would be the key to the JOY of the L-rd

did i study that out to this day like a good Berean?

do i have any idea what i am talking about

i will say this much

He came for a sinner like me

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am i really going to say this

no matter what i have been blessed with in this life

no matter what traumas i have experienced in this life

pre deliverance in Christ Jesus, even to to day, as peels of the onion come off, as layers of human baggage are released, as dross is burnt away

there was/is in me a self hatred, i do not believe the G-dly Holy one either

but a sinners self hatred

so i could love G-d first, because He first loved me, I can, I do

but how am i supposed to love my neighbor as myself if i hated myself

cross, crux, crossroads, crucible

what do i choose this day life, death

life

so i receive G-d’s reconciliation, His Love for me, by His Son Jesus

i learn how i am loved

maybe i can love others as i learn to love myself